Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Missing Mom!

Tonight was kind of a sad night for me personally. I was not able to visit the girls this evening because I have had a mild cold today. I did not want to risk going into the NICU with that so I decided to stay home this evening. Thomas went by himself to see our precious girls. Thomas was able to hold both Rachel and Haley for a little while this evening.

Rachel was moved from her cpap to a high flow nasal cannula today. Dr. Hernandez one of our neonatologists decided to make the move because Rachel has been fighting the cpap a lot. The doctor thinks that she has been fighting it so hard that she has burned way too many calories thus her growth the past week has been hardly anything. It is so important for Rachel to gain weight, it is what will help her to over come some of the problems she has like chronic lung disease. She was on the vent for so long that she has some scaring of the lungs, but the good thing about that lung in an infant continually grow new lung tissue up until a certain age. Rachel has done very well thus far on the high flow cannula. Her O2 saturations have been 100% all day on 50% of Oxygen concentration. She has had a pretty good day over all. We hope she never has to go back on the cpap.

Rachel on the nasal cannula again

Haley is plugging along, she continues to grow she is now 5lbs 7oz. She is still on her cpap with a pressure of 5, the lowest pressure there is before going off cpap. She also seems to be very annoyed with the cpap. Thomas was holding her tonight and she was constantly moving her head to get the cpap off her nose. The nurse told Thomas this evening that they may try her on a high flow nasal cannula tomorrow, we shall see. Haley is obsessed with her pacifier. She will calm down immediately once she gets her pacifier in her mouth. That girl can suck too, she doesn't play around when it comes to her pacifier. I think she is going to be one we have trouble getting her off of the pacifier when the time comes.

Haley laying on her tummy

We continue to be in wonder and amazement with the progress that our girls have made. They are such beautiful little girls, with such powerful spirits. We thank our Heavenly Father everyday for Rachel and Haley, we are constantly asking Heavenly Father to watch over them and to help them grow and develop. I know that God has been there every step of the way for all our precious children. He has and will continue to help Rachel and Haley over come the odds that have been placed before them. We know what statistics say regarding children who are born this prematurely, but one thing I do know in no uncertain terms is that God does not work in statistics, He will do what He knows is best for us and the girls. I have an absolute sureness of that. I am so thankful for the Gospel of Jesus Christ which has truly sustained Thomas and I in the difficult times we have been through. I know Thomas and I have been humbled by all the events that have unfolded the past few months. It has been painful and it has been difficult at times to bare, but because of a loving Savior who has come to this earth and has born our grieves and sorrows, He has helped us through as no other person can. We are indebted to him for that, we love him and desire to be more like him in all that we do. Thanks to God for good nurses and Doctors who have helped our girls along the way.


  1. What a beautiful and heart felt testimony of our Heavenly Father. It's unfortunate that you were unable to visit the girls, but in the long run, it's always better to play it safe! (I hope you get to feeling better soon)
    I hope Rachel is able to stay off the CPAP and that Haley will be able to make the switch soon.

    Praying for you always,

    Christina McKinney

  2. They're looking sooo good!! Happy Thanksgiving! What beautiful blessings you have to be thankful for!

  3. Amanda,

    Stay strong. You are nearing the end of this journey in the NICU. Soon they will be home. For me, the last three weeks in the hospital were the hardest. I hope and pray they will be home by January.

  4. Amanda, I know I said this several times before, but your faith and testimony continue to inspire me. You and Thomas are beautiful people and deserve all the best. You are right, God does not work in statistics and I am sure the girls will surprise every one. I continue to pray for all of you. Love, Claudia

  5. i don't know who is missing who - the babies miss mom or mom missing the babies.. glad they are doing well! Keep up the good work girls.
    love, Erma

  6. Rachel looks so happy with that CPAP off her pretty face! I hope she is able to stay on the canula and that Haley is able to do the same soon! And I hope you feel better really soon - but props to you for not being selfish and visiting anyway!

  7. Hi Amanda, I have been following your blog and I want to encourage you as a fellow mom of 25 weekers. Our twin boys were born at 25.5 weeks and they are now nearly 6 months actual. God blessed us in the NICU and beyond because our children are doing fantastic. You are so right not to rely on statstics. Rely on the One who is in control. Check our blog out if you get a chance to see what God is doing in the lives of our babies. It wasn't too long ago that I was in your shoes and it always helped me to read stories about babies born as early as ours. May God continue to bless you.

  8. Those are the tough times when you cannot be there to hold your sweet babies and comfort them. I remember being ill a couple of times and it was so tough not to go that day. Always remember that God is in control and he knows all, statistics are there but those do not matter to the Lord.

    As a side note Rachel looks so sweet without the CPAP and Haley looks like she is so happy on her stomach and I love her cute little cheeks and arms.

  9. Hmmm... maybe God IS a god of statistics, considering 4 of your babies are DEAD, just like the doctors probably predicted.

    I can't stand listening to your religious bull crap when I know that could have saved your babies this suffering. None of this was God's will for you. He wasn't behind any of it. If he's the one we should praise b/c of any good your girls are going through- he is also the one who gets the blame for the four bodies now rotting in the ground. that was never God's will for you. You were selfish and ignorant and flat out wrong to carry all of those "souls."

    Who is paying for these medical bills? Those poor, poor babies, suffering away and being stuck in those isolettes. I hope every time you see them you know exactly how much of it is your fault.


Thank you for the comments! We love to hear from you! If you prefer to not leave a comment on our blog you can email us at stanseljourney@gmail.com.