Today has been an extremely difficult day in some ways and very rewarding day in other ways. Our little beautiful Ashlyn was released from this world this evening around 8:30pm. Thomas and I were able to hold her while all the support was removed from her tiny little body. The spirit was so strong, impressions came that she is ours for eternity. I felt she was telling us mom, dad don't be sad, I am not gone just in a better place waiting now for dad and you to meet me there, I came and received my body, I am set now. Ashlyn had been fighting for about a month or so with a nasty form of Pneumonia call Yeast Pneumonia. She fought so hard to beat it, but just couldn't beat the nasty illness. Thomas and I had to make probably the hardest decision in our lives this evening, though much prayer and fasting we decided this evening to pull our daughter off her ventilator and all support and let her finally go back to a loving Heavenly Father, who I know has welcomed her home with open arms. Ashlyn had really started to deteriorate the past week or so. Her O2 saturation's the past day had been dropping into the 50's and 60's. We decided enough was enough for her to go through. While we know where she is, it still hurts so much knowing we won't be able to bring her home with us. I know she is safe, I know she is happier now, but we miss her terribly. We thank our Heavenly Father for the priceless time we were able to spend with her. How grateful we are for Our Savior Jesus Christ who gave His life in a selfless sacrifice for us, which sacrifice will allow our family to be reunited again one day. What great comfort that knowledge brings to us in such times as these. Thomas and I are overwhelmed with the love we feel from our Savior, He has charted the course for our little girl and for us, He has and will continue to uplift us and to pick us up when we don't feel like going on. Our little Ashlyn is now home cheering us on to one day be worthy to reunite with her and our other five beautiful children that have gone on before us. We owe everything to the Savior, we love and cherish His life, because we know it is only because of Him we can see our precious children again someday. Goodbye to Ashlyn for now, but please know we love you and will miss you more than you will ever know. Now the rewarding part about today is that Haley and Rachel are doing extremely well. They both seem to be tolerating all the adjustments to their ventilator settings. Haley is now weighing in at four pounds even and is 14 1/2 inches long. Haley I think has surprised the doctors with how well she is doing especially after having surgery 3 days ago. We aren't surprised simply because Thomas has given Priesthood Blessings to her, and because we know who is in charge. I know from first hand experience what the sacred power of the priesthood can do to bless lives. I am grateful for a husband who is able to have it and use it to bless me and my little girls. Little Rachel continues to grow and flourish each day. She weighs 3 lbs 7 oz and is 14 inches long. She is tolerating her feeds very well, she continues to eat like a champ. She loves to lay on her belly, she does much better with her oxygen saturation's on her belly than her back. We were able to hold her this evening and then again I felt the Spirit so strong telling me she will be home sooner than later. We hope and pray that Haley and Rachel continue to grow and develop, so that we can bring them both home some day soon.
Here is Ashlyn when she was about 2 weeks old. That's Daddy's finger in her hand. We will always remember her this little.
We love you very much little Ashlyn. Love always, Mommy and Daddy
I am so very sorry. I know that you know you will see her whole and healthy in heaven and that is a true blessing.
ReplyDeleteAmanda and Thomas, we are so sorry to hear about this loss. You have been through so much already, but we pray that you will have the strength to carry on through this time of trial and will soon bring home two healthy baby girls.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry to hear about the title of this post.. I am sad to hear that little ashlyn has left her physical father and mother and went to be with her heavenly Father. MAy you rest assured that you will see her in heaven. May our LORD grant you the peace and assurance you need at this time
ReplyDeleteLove Michelle
Perth west australia
Our hearts are full. I am so sorry for your loss. She fought a good fight. Your heart must be breaking. BRING THOSE other girls HOME!
ReplyDeleteMy heart is heavy as I learn of your loss of sweet Ashlyn. Please know your family is and has been in our prayers and will continue to be. Our Heavenly Father is mindful of you.
ReplyDeleteThomas and Amanda,
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry about Ashlyn. I am glad to know that you were able to prepare for this terrible loss, and that you will both be able to rest well in the knowledge that you will be with her, and raise her after this life. In the meantime, I know she will be helping Kaitlyn take care of all four of your sweet baby boys in Heaven. They have each other until you are together again.
Love to all, and you're in our thoughts.
Emily
I am so sorry for your loss. She put up a good fight. You guys are in our prayers and thoughts. Soon your other girls will come home.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Hayley
I'm so sorry for your loss.
ReplyDeleteU GUYS HAVE BOTH BEEN THROUGH SOOO MUCH! I GET MY STRENGTH AND SERENITY FROM READING UR DAILY STORIES. U BOTH HAVE VERY STRONG HEARTS AND MUCH WISDOME. I LOVE THAT U HAVE A POSITIVE WAY OF LOOKING AT LIFE FOR UR CHILDREN THAT HAVE PASSED! I HOPE TO MEET THEM ALL OUR DAY WITH OUR GOOD LORD AND TELL THEM HOW MUCH THEIR PARENTS LIFTED MY SPIRITS AND GAVE ME HOPE IN LIFE! HANG IN THERE AND I AM PRAYING FOR HALEY AND RACHEL...COME HOME SOON!
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry for your loss, but so grateful that Ashlyn is no longer fighting. She is with her Maker and her other siblings praising our Father.
ReplyDeleteI will continue to pray for you at this time of grief. And pray for the other girls as they continue to grow stronger.
Heart breaking...
ReplyDeleteI pray for the two of you and the two little girls...
It is so hard sometimes to understand His will.
Huge hugs to you and your family during this difficult time...
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry to hear about sweet Ashlyn... I'll continue praying for you and your husband, along with your 2 precious girls still in the hospital.
ReplyDeleteI am so sad for you family and your loss. Sorry just doesn't feel sufficient in a situation like this, but I am indeed sorry that you had to suffer with yet another loss in your sweet family. I can't imagine the pain and agony of making the decision to let a child go, but I feel you made the correct choice for sweet Ashlyn. One day, when you meet them in heaven, this will all be a distant memory. Her little body is pefect now, pain free, and full of love for her mommy and daddy! May you both have the strength you need at this diffucult and painful time. I'm so glad to hear that Rachel and Haley are doing so well. I pray they will be able to come home with you soon.
ReplyDeletePraying for you always,
Christina McKinney
Y'all are truly amazing parents! What perfect little spirits y'all have awaiting you in eternity! Many, many prayers are being sent your way. I'm so sorry. May you have endless comfort and peace.
ReplyDeleteThankfully, Families are forever!
The Warrens
I am so sad for you but happy the Lord gave you the time he did with Ashlyn. I pray he heals your sadden hearts and continues to watch over her sisters and keep them strong!!
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry to hear this. I will be praying for you. I can't imagine what you have gone through. God Bless you all!
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry for your loss of Little Ashyln. I continue to pray for Rachel and Haley and your family. Sherri
ReplyDeleteHere is a song I hope gives you guys a little comfort. My heart is broken for little Ashlyn. http://www.imeem.com/flamzofice/music/U1EkRXoY/evie-special-delivery/
ReplyDeleteI stuggle to find the right words because there are none. We are so sad and sorry to hear of yet another loss. I hope you can feel the love and support coming from everyone's prayers. We love you guys.
ReplyDeleteI am praying so hard for you, but know that you are STRONG people who will get through this. Your strength is so obvious, and with the Lord, you will get through this. And now little Ashlyn is a beautiful angel in Heaven - with her five brothers and sisters - and they all wait for their mommy and daddy to one day see them again.
ReplyDeleteGod bless you.
I am so sorry to hear of Ashlyn's passing. I don't know what to say but I am sorry. You faith continues to be so amazing.
ReplyDeleteYour family has been in our prayers constantly. Our Heavenly Father is so loving and understands the pain we feel.
ReplyDeleteThank goodness for the resurrection so we can live with our families for eternity if we remain worthy and keep His commandments.
Thank you for your testimony that you continue to share with us. You have strengthened my own testimony of the Power of the Priesthood and the love that our Heavenly Father has for each one of His children.
I am so sorry for your loss. I know how hard it is to stay strong in the face of all this and you two are doing an amazing job. Ashlyn would be so proud of you. Goodbye, sweet Ashlyn.
ReplyDeleteyou're playing God by having so many babies and letting them die in vain. don't have babies like this. adopt the ones already born healthy.
ReplyDeleteYou two are so amazing and thank you for sharing your testimonies and faith in God. Ashlyn is definitely in God's arms watching over you.
ReplyDeleteIgnore the one above - killing them before they were born would have been easier for you. You did right - you gave them a chance and God will bless you for it. God bless all of you.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThis really isn't the time or place for these discussions. Regardless of how it all came about the Stansels are grieving for their child. Please let them do so in peace.
ReplyDeleteGuys, this is NOT the appropriate forum in which to debate selective reduction. Let the family grieve and let those of us who have followed their journey grieve for them.
ReplyDeleteWow, just wow, parents in severe pain and people thought nasty responses were in order? How extremely un-Christian.
ReplyDeleteI'm extremely sorry for your loss Amanda and Thomas. I am praying for your family.
I am so sorry for your loss, but am glad you find the comfort in your strong faith. God Bless your beautiful family and friends as you all go through such a trying time.
ReplyDeleteWhat is going on? What are you ss11, Jesse and cph? Please show some respect for a grieving family. If you can't do that, don't be here at all. All you are doing is showing how low and ignorant some human beings can be. It’s easy to tell under whose influence you are. I feel sorry for you…
ReplyDeleteAmanda and Thomas, I am mourning the loss of little Ashlyn with you. My heart is broken and sometimes it’s difficult to understand His will. I am glad you have the knowledge that you will meet her (and her siblings) again in heaven. I continue to pray for Rachel and Haley; and for the comfort you need at this time. May God bless and comfort you during this difficult time.
All my love, Claudia
I am so sorry for your loss. But isn't the gospel wonderful! We know you will see your precious children again one day.
ReplyDeleteThank you for keeping us updated on your precious family.
some folks just don't get it!
ReplyDeleteGod blessed you with these beautiful babies - perfect spirits needing little bodies -
how grateful we are that you were given this blessed opportunity and that you handle it with such love and grace. submitting yourself to our Father's will, never doubting...
i am so sad Ashlyn had to leave, that was an awfully tough decision, but made with such love and dedication. Imagine the reunion with her four brothers and her sister. JOY - pure JOY. We obeyed as we needed to and we're back!
We continue to love watching the progress Rachel and Haley! Thank you for letting us have a peek into your very private and blessed lives!
Love you Amanda and Thomas, Rachel and Haley!
Erma from Midvale, Utah
There were six, now there are two. Hopefully the last remaining two, Rachel and Haley will continue to thrive and grow. Maybe now you can really enjoy the two girls that are doing so well and not have to worry so much about the others. I hope all goes well for the remaining two-it would be almost impossible for you two to handle yet another loss. Your twin boys a year ago, your two sons and two daughters now, it is just too much. It is obvious you both want to have children and rightly so, but if your family is to be extended beyond these two beautiful girls, consider adoption and allowing children who really need great parents like you to come into your lives. I think this is a sign from God to go this way. My thoughts are with you.
ReplyDeleteWe were in this exact situation! Little Gideon had been through so much but still every irrational part of me scream "noooooo" as we had them turn off his machines. It is so hard but a little easier because we know that this life is brief and we have them forever. And while it is hard Heavenly Father must have known that we must be soemthing special to be able to have these little ones in our family, even if we don't see it,sometimes. Thank you for your testimony!!
ReplyDeleteI didn't have a chance to check in yesterday but somehow I had a feeling that yesterday would be the day that Ashlyn went home to her Heavenly Father. You were all in my thoughts, as you are everyday. I am so sorry for your loss though. It makes it easier to know where this sweet little girl has gone but it still hurts so much, doesn't it. She must be such a special little spirit to be willing to come earth and go through so much suffering, just to get a body. You were such amazing parents to her and I know she felt your love. I know she is playing with her 5 other siblings right now and is free from pain. I still can't stop crying though. Lots of love to you guys! I can't wait until you get to bring Rachel and Haley home!!
ReplyDeleteI have watched, silently, and have gained such strength from your testimony. The closeness you feel to the Savior shows all of us that He can get us through the most difficult times in our lives. Please continue in faith. Yes, your children on the other side of the veil eagerly await the reunion the Lord has promised, someday. For now, they will be there, helping their sisters and their Mommy and Daddy.
ReplyDeleteI'm so very sorry for your loss. No matter what anyone says, no one, and I mean no one understands what it means to make a choice to "selectively reduce" or let a life make an attempt to come. I think you guys are extremely courageous and humble to have made that decision, and I hope you do not have to continue to go through so much pain. It is wonderful that you have each other to lean on through the difficulties that you have been through.
ReplyDeleteBy the way I am not a christian, but I believe everyone has the right to make any decision they feel is right when it comes to bringing children in the world.
My heart is broken as I read the post for today. I was checking back all night last night waiting for some news on how she was doing. I was so sad to wake up and hear about her passing. There are so many people whose lives you have touched, whose faith you have strengthened and who are amazed by your committment to God, after all the trials and tribulation you have been through your faith has never wavered. I hope it brings some comfort to you that you have 5 precious, beautiful angels waiting for you on the other side, who watch over you and comfort you each day. I pray that the Lord be with you while you mourn the loss of your precious angel. I think of her now, as I look at my daughter, who was born a day after your little ones. I'm sure I will think of her often. She has touched my life, as have all the others. May she be happy and loved and anxiously await your arrival some day. It is so great to hear though that Haley and Rachel are doing so well. I hope they continue to thrive and grow so that some day very soon you will be able to bring them home. I know so many of us will be rejoicing with you that day. May you find peace and understanding in these heartbreaking times. May God be with you.
ReplyDeleteAs for the others who can't seem to have a regard for another human being going through such a devastating time, apparently you have not found the Grace of God and I too feel sorry for you. May God have pity on you. I pray that some day you do not find yourself in this same situation, because even people as heartless and thoughtless as you do not deserve to go through the things that Thomas and Amanda have had to go through. They are strong, amazing, faithful, compassionate and we should all be humbled to be able to be a part of this experience with them.
Amanda and Thomas,
ReplyDeleteMy heart is full as I read about little Ashlyn. As I read this, this song by Alison Kraus was on my iPod. I thought it was very fitting. Bless you both. How grateful I am today for the blessings of the temple.
The wind is blowing down the quiet river,
a shining road that carries you alone.
Baby girl my love will last forever.
If you're to live, I must give you up to God.
I know our God will guide, protect and keep you.
Teach you faith and hold you by the heart.
Though your mother's heart is broken by your leaving,
her Father knows just who He is and who you are.
I wish that life wasn't always ending up this way,
with Heaven's love at stake and hell to pay.
But you in God's loving plan might be the missing part.
You must live.
So I give you to his heart.
The wind is blowing down the silent river,
a shining road that leaves me all alone.
A life for you's worth losing you forever.
Some day we'll stand in God's fair land, forever home.
I wish that life wasn't always ending up this way,
with Heaven's love at stake and hell to pay.
But you in God's loving plan might be the missing part.
You must live.
So I give you to his heart.
I can only imagine how hard that was for both of you. Think of the reunion that she had with her siblings who have gone on before!! I bet she is telling them what fantastic parents you are and how much ya'll love them!
ReplyDeleteAs far as the other negative comments, ya'll did what was instructed of you by our Heavenly Father and i bet that you would still do it all again even knowing what you know now.
You are AMAZING examples of me of faith. You have helped my testimony grow in more ways that one. I love and appreciate you both and admire you faithfulness and understanding of the atonement.
I am super proud of Rachel and Haley!!! Keep up the great work girls!
I'm so sorry for your loss. I will be praying for you and your family!
ReplyDeleteAmanda and Thomas,
ReplyDeleteWe shed tears with you as we learned the news. I know your testimony to be true, and that Heavenly Father will strengthen you. We prayed for a miracle, and perhaps that miracle is that little Ashlyn is out of pain now, back home with a loving Father and waiting with her many siblings to see their earthly parents again. We will miss her though, her courage to come to this earth and fight with everything in her soul to live. She has a truly remarkable spirit, and her life was a wonderful example for us to live by.
We love you, and hope for many more good days to come with Rachel and Haley.
I am sorry about Miss Ashlyn. I admire your strength and faith and know that the Lord has and will continue to bless you. We have lost 4 children, not as close as you have but I do know the ache and the hurt, We also the comfort and strength that comes from knowing that families are forever. As a family it gives us something to work on everyday so that we can be an eternal family. Does it mean there are not tough days..no and there are still plenty of tears but it does give us hope.
ReplyDeleteI wanted to share with you 3 additional verses of "I am a Child of God", I do not remember who wrote these additional verses but they were given to us after we lost one of our daughters.
I am a child of God and he has called me home.
My earthly journey's through but still, I do not walk alone.
He leads me guides me, walks beside me, helps me find the way.
He welcomed me with open arms. I live with him today.
I am a child of God and I have gone ahead.
My earthly life was brief but oh, such peace and love you gave.
You loved me, held me, stood beside me and though I cannot stay,
You gave me much to help me and I will live with him today.
I am a child of God and I will wait for you.
Celestial glory shall be ours if you can but endure.
I'll lead you, guide you, walk beside you, help you find the way.
I'll welcome you with open arms,
One bright Celestial day.
I'm so sorry for your loss of your sweet baby. Praying and thinking of you.
ReplyDeleteI am so saddened to be sitting here reading this - may Ashlyn be one of the prettiest Angels up in Heaven, along with my daughter Macey. I don't know you guys but sure do think of you often and all that you have been through. Praying that Rachel and Haley continue to grow strong and can come home with you soon!
ReplyDelete(((hugs))
Michele
Thinking and praying for you. I just found your blog through a friend of mine. I gave birth to twins at 23 weeks, 1 day. My son, Logan, passed away when he was 1 month, 1 day old. I know my sweet Logan is with your precious children. My daughter, Olivia, is 2 years old and is doing great. Please know that you are not alone and many people are praying for all of you. God bless!
ReplyDeleteMay God Give You,Thomas and the rest of Your Family the Strength to get through the days ahead. Know that Ashlyn is in Heaven surrounded by her siblings that went before her. She has taught many lessons to those here on earth. Love,Compassion and Faith being the 3 strongest lessons. May God 's Love hold those two little precious ones Rachel and Haley and keep them healthy so they can go home soon to their earthly home and grow in love, kindness and bring Joy to those who love them.
ReplyDeleteMy heart hurts so for your loss.
Many Prayers coming your way.
Peggy Kappes
Alvin, Texas
A sad day, but we all know it's for the best. I'm also really sad to see negative comments on here. They are not in any position to judge you so don't heed anything they say. I know it's hard thought, to lose so many children.
ReplyDeleteI know, though, that you trust God to do the right thing. She is safe in the arms of Jesus now. That phrase reminds me of an old hymn:
http://www.hymntime.com/tch/htm/s/a/f/safearms.htm
I know Jesus will be so happy to have another baby to hold up there. Praying for your peace.
I am so sad to read about your daughter. My heart goes out to both You and Thomas. Please accept my condolences. Your family have been in our prayers everyday since we heard you were expecting multiples.
ReplyDeleteWe will continue to pray for you and you daughters.
Lovingly,
Frank and Virginia
I'm so sorry for your loss. I know how deep the pain of losing a child is so my heart is right there with you.
ReplyDeleteFor those of you who waited for this moment to be critiical, shame on you. It's sad you feel like now's the time when your voice should be heard, when there are many other posts you could have done it on.
Any baby has the potential to be born early for any number of reasons. Saying this wouldn't have happened if they had reduced just shows your ignorance.
I've worked for years with preterm,post term and term babies born sick. No parent wants their child to hurt but it happens.
Take a look in the PICU. Should those parents automatically let their kids go because they are suffering with the flu???? No! that would be ridiculous and everyone would be outraged.
This isn't a perfect world and NONE of us are living God's original plan for us. We ALL do things that are UNNATURAL. We eat UNNATURAL food, we drink UNNATURAL drinks, when we are sick we put UNNATURAL medications in our bodies..... much of the UNATURAL things we do contribute to the many diseases we have today.
Those of you who were LUCKY--and if you understand anything about what it takes to bring a baby into this world then you know you were LUCKY--to have healthy babies close your eyes and imagine life without your child.. You can't do it can you?
Adoption or the desire to adopt is not as simple as a lot of you make it. And just because you can conceive "naturally" why didn't you go out and adopt?
Hopefully none of you that are being so nasty will EVER find yourself with a baby in the NICU or the hospital for that matter....and if you do....well I won't be evil enough to even wish it upon you.
Be kind, we have enough hate in this world as it is.
My condolences on losing Ashlyn, and for all the pain and heartbreak you and your family have gone through.
ReplyDeleteWhile this is not the forum to debate selective reduction, it is a great resource for others to visit and read firsthand the tribulations you have gone through and the decisions you have made.
Hopefully couples considering the procedures you have gone through will now be able to balance their desire for children against the likely pain and suffering of these children, and decide to leave it in God's hands rather than those of Doctors and technology.
If this means not having children, then I pray that they accept this personal sacrifice in the same grace that our savior accepted making the ultimate sacrifice for all of us.
What a tough decision to have to make. I'm thankful that you feel at peace and know that Ashlyn is in a better place. She has a warm welcome in heaven, I'm sure! Ashlyn fought a good fight! What a valiant spirit! I hope and pray that Haley and Rachel continue to grow and develop and get to come home with you soon!
ReplyDeleteAmanda and Thomas, I am so sorry for your loss. Loss upon loss, it seems...you are so strong, and though there will be hard days, I know that that strength - from God - will bring you through. Don't worry about what negative people may say; they are not you and can't understand. I know that I have been blessed by sweet Ashlyn in her 2 months on earth. Thank you for sharing her with us through this blog.
ReplyDeleteAnd I won't quit praying for Haley and Rachel! I hope you are home snuggling with them soon. They are making great progress!
God did not choose these people to conceive. They went against his plan and used advance medical technology to create babies. And then they made a choice that gave those babies nearly 0% chance of survival. How is that right by God? How is it right to play God and create babies, and then make choices that let most of them die? I really don't understand.
ReplyDeleteYes,Corey I know what you are saying. The odds would have been better had there not been so many babies. It's not a decision you would have made---fine. The people who have to live with this decision are the Stansels. But WHY on earth is it necessary to rub it in their faces. Answer: it's not.
ReplyDeleteAnd again, even if there was just one baby doesn't mean it would have been born healthy. I see it everyday at work. If you don't think so I'll set up a time where you can come meet some naturally conceived children born too soon or set up a time to visit with parents who have lost their naturally conceived child.
Corey, if your source of information regarding the lives of others is The New York Times, I'm sorry but you ARE ignorant. I will pray for you, and maybe you will be blessed with some more knowledge.
ReplyDeletejustme, it's obvious that you are just a low level life who cannot respect a grieving family. You are in my prayers too.
The New York Times is liveral and pro-abortion.
ReplyDeleteI am really sorry to hear about Ashlyn. It is tragic that this many children have died before ever knowing what it was like to live.
ReplyDeleteAmanda and Thomas: I really hope that Rachel and Haley grow up healthy and happy. However, if they don't I beg you not to try and have more children. No other child deserves to be put through this cruelty. Yes, it cruel because it is painfully obvious that Amanda cannot carry a baby to term. As much as I feel for her, it isn't right to know this and have another child, putting that child at tremendous risk at being disabled or dying shortly after birth.
May God comfort you in your grief. I will continue to pray for Haley and Rachel.
I'm so sorry to hear about your babies passing. I know you will see her again and you will be able to raise her again. your kids are perfect angels and I can imagine her homecoming into heaven and her brother's and sister welcoming her with a hug. It's probably a joyful reunion for them. All they needed was a body and that's what they got so now they are in the lord's care. My prayer's are with you, your little girls that they will make it, and your babies in heaven. I pray that they will watch out for each other just like siblings should, and that our father in heaven will look out for them. I'm very sorry. I wish you well.
ReplyDelete-Lindsey Johnson
This is a truly horrid thing to have to go through, and I hope the Stansels are keeping strong and resolute in their faith through these difficult times. I certainly hope that other parents who are looking into similar reproductive technologies will hear of this story and learn from it. Adopting such a willfully ignorant attitude to the real and absolutely devastating risks explained to them by their doctor was not a smart decision; the cost has been unimaginable suffering for all six of their babies and it doesn't seem that much thought was given to this. Hopefully, other hopeful parents reading this blog will recognize that they shouldn't have to create unnecessary suffering in the world to have a child, and should find other ways of expressing their generosity & love if this is the kind of high cost to be paid.
ReplyDeleteCorey, I too read the NYT, but chose to reflect not on the Doctor's statements regarding his recommendations but for the fact that everyone has the "right" to decide the best option for them. The Doctor's recommendation was not the "only" choice, it was his choice. Let this family grieve and show respect. I would like to see you walk into the funeral home of someone who has lost and speak the words you speak here so proudly. This family has lost a child only yesterday and you choose this moment to debate their choices. That is crass, rude and yes ignorant. ignorance can read NYT also.
ReplyDeleteMy goodness... I cannot believe that there are people posting on this lovely blog such negative and hurtful comments. Have whatever beliefs you want, people - but it is NOT THE TIME and NOT THE PLACE to be putting such TERRIBLE comments. I just lost a baby myself - a singleton pregnancy that was through "natural" conception - so does that make it any more or less painful or meaningful than what the Stansels went through? No. ANY baby that dies - that is a tragedy. The fact is - yes, they went through infertility treatments, which some may or may not agree with. But in the end, God allowed those babies to spring to life, and to grow within their mother. Agree or disagree on whether the Stansels should have used infertility treatments - but PLEASE shut your mouth on it now. This is their time of grieving. I am sure they have enough to think about without reading NASTY comments. Imagine if you were in their shoes, mourning the death of a baby, and you had to read those words. I may not agree with infertility treatments myself - but I have some common decency to RESPECT someone in their time of need.
ReplyDeleteIf you disagree with the Stansels, turn around and ignore this website. They don't need your nastiness. They need prayer and support. Your mean words aren't helping a thing.
How do you feel about the suffering you put your six children through, condemning 4 to a gruesome death? Do you think selectively reducing would have minimized the suffering they went through for your egos?
ReplyDeleteAmanda and Thomas, I have followed your story since just before your beautiful little ones came into this world, and I am truely in awe of your love and faith in God and his plan for your little family
ReplyDeleteI have checked every morning for news on your precious babies, praying that God would put his loving hands around them, and let you help to keep them safe for Him a while.
I cried in saddness and joy this morning, for losing little Ashlyn, but also for the progress that Haley and Rachel are making.
I know that your decision had to have been the hardest thing you have ever had to do, as I had to make the same decision for my sister 2 months ago. I can only say that it was an awesome priviledge to hold her hand as she passed into God's loving arms and I am sure you felt that way with Ashlyn too.
I will continue to offer my prayers and thoughts for you and your babies.Be safe and strong....
may The Lord keep you and lead you through the whole experience.
ReplyDeleteThe 'negative' opinions may or may not be valid ones but the point is- this is not the time or place to discuss it. The Stansels have lost a child. Have enough human decency to let them grieve in peace.
ReplyDeleteDear, sweet Stansel family--
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry to hear that little Ashlyn has left your arms! Each child is so precious, and I share your faith and knowledge that each child you have borne is yours forever. Thank you for courageously sharing your testimony.
What a comfort to know that those children who die in infancy will get to grow up at a time of complete peace on the earth!
I read these comments and am even more grateful for the knowledge of the restored gospel. Heavenly Father loves each one of us more than we can imagine.
May you feel that love during this difficult time.
Love and {hugs},
Michelle
To the Stansel Family,
ReplyDeleteI know that you are finding your comfort in your family and friends, as well as your strong faith. I am sorry for the words of others who find your time of grieving as a forum to place their views on you. Please know that their words do not matter and that all that matters is your love for each other and those precious children.
Vomiting your life all over the internet invites all comments good or bad.
ReplyDeleteYou were not supposed to bear children. Your "God" and Doctors have made that clear. Get over yourselves already.
Sorry your dreams of a reality show are um...dying out.
I'm sure taxpayers are thrilled to pick up the pre-death hospital bills for your litter...um babies. Thank you again for this financial burden we must all bear.
Pearl.. HOW CRUEL!!!! They didn't have these babies for a reality show!!!! I'm so sorry for their loss.
ReplyDeleteI am sorry to hear of your loss. Praying for you.
ReplyDeleteThomas and Amanda, I wish I could delete some comments before you get to read them. Please don't pay any attention to these cowards. They feel safe behind a computer screen; however, I'm sure they would never stand proudly behind their nasty comments if they were face to face.
ReplyDeleteif everyone would stop giving attention to the negative comments, they would stop. We are here to love and support Amanda and Thomas and their family. Some of us are amazed by their faith and their love for GOd and their children. God bless you all.
ReplyDeletei was so saddened to hear the news about little ashlyn. she was a strong fighter. and she is in a much better place with her brothers and sister. to you thomas and amanda how great are you guys to be pickied to have 5 perfect children that only needed to come to this earth for a body. heavenly father knew yall were strong enough to handle this. my prayers are still with you and the two girls i hope they come home soon and always remind them of their brothers and sisters that have passed on.
ReplyDeleteThank you Claudia for saying exactly what I was thinking. The main thing is for Rachel and Haley to get big and strong and to come home soon!
ReplyDeleteCome on-- these people decided to conceive and have the babies without a reduction. When she was only 3 months along, the couple was already whoring for dollars and freebies a la Kate Gosselin.
ReplyDeleteWhile I am sorry about any baby dying, the couple knew the risk. The doctor told them to reduce or they would lose the babies. You reap what you sow.
http://www.gainesville.com/article/20091012/ZNYT04/910123005/1109/SPORTS?Title=Grievous-Choice-on-Risky-Path-to-Parenthood
you two have endured so much heartache and sorrow, the thought of burying 6 of my children without the joy of watching them grow and develop is just heart-wrenching and it just seems so unfair for you two to have to go through. I have no doubt that through your pain here on earth you will have great happiness in the next life watching each and everyone of your little babies grow up. May the Lord keep you in His loving arms through all of these trials. Again I am so sorry for your losses.
ReplyDeletei just read what people have posted above my comment and I am just sick that there are people like this in the world that have nothing better to do than to prey on the broken hearts of others, please for your sanity and well being do not read these comments, and if you do just remember that those people will have to answer one day for the hatefulness that they share with the world. Again I am sorry for your loss and sorry for the agony that you must be feeling as parents, some people just don't understand how hard it is to want to be a parent so bad but to no avail. I know you two will be great parents and please don't hesitate to make your blog a private one for you to just share with your family and close friends, it would make me sad to not be able to follow along in your journey but at the same time you need to do what is best for your family and that is all that matters. Again I am sickened by the hatefulness of the cowards that took the time to make your hearts ache just a little more.
ReplyDeleteIf they make the blog private they can't ask for donations can they?
ReplyDeleteMy heart aches for you. I am so inspired by your strength and testimony. Your eternal perspective makes all the difference. I am glad that Haley and Rachel are doing better and I appreciate your updates. Your family will continue to be in our prayers. I hope this week gets better for you both.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry. I'm rooting for the remaining two to grow strong.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your precious family with us and your testimony of this life and the next. The veil is so thin. I'm certain the 6 children who have gone on before you, are very aware of the love and devotion you have to them, and to the Lord. May you always be in His care.
ReplyDeleteWhile I do offer my condolences to the Stansels on their losses, I don't get this "gave her a body" stuff - and the same goes for the other babies. What I do see is that several babies have been put through pain and suffering, most likely needlessly. And I do wonder how many babies already IN this world could have been helped by the thousands upon thousands of dollars that have been spent on these six babies, dollars that will in all likelihood have to be paid for by taxpayers. If the hospital has to write off any of the money, that just means no new equipment, or that others will have to do without care in some form or another. I would have liked a vote on how my part of those dollars were to be spent.
ReplyDeleteAmanda and Thomas,
ReplyDeleteIgnore the commments from those SO RUDE!
And to those with IGNORANT COMMENTS you have NEVER been in their shoes. So how can you say ANYTHING about their lives.... the LORD guided the stansels pregnancy, he was with them all the way, and this was HIS will.
Thomas and Amanda, May God bless you richly and give you the comfort and strength to get through the next few days
Love Michelle
No, the "lords" will that you speak of was for Amanda NEVER to have children, hence her inability to concieve without medical intervention. She was aware this (death and suffering) may happen and went through with the ARTIFICIALLY CREATED prenancy anyway. How can you deny that truth? She is a monster.
ReplyDeleteI am disgusted by so many of the negative comments posted here since last night. I am sickened by how cruel some people are.
ReplyDeleteAmanda and Thomas, I hope that you will consider giving someone else access to delete some of the terrible comments posted here so you don't have to see them.
I am so sorry to hear about Ashlyn. I am amazed everyday by your strength. I am rooting for Haley and Rachel! Much love to all of you.
You are such an inspiration to me as I follow you through this journey. Having my own struggles of faith, I cannot begin to understand how you can be so strong through all of this. I am trying to learn how to be that way, too.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry for your loss.
Amanda and Thomas,
ReplyDeleteI am so very sorry for the loss of sweet little Ashlyn. I know, as do you, that she is with her Heavenly Father and that you will see her again. She only needed this short test here on life so that she could gain her body. She, like your other children who have passed on, are very special spirits and Heavenly Father has a need for them there with Him.
I will pray for you as you continue this difficult journey. Heavenly Father loves you so much and will continue to help you through. I am so glad that you know the truth and can rely on your testimony to get through.
I also wish that I could delete the hateful, spiteful comments here. You don't deserve these comments and know they aren't true. I can't imagine how much they hurt. You will see your children again and what a blessing it will be to have such amazing, strong spirits in your family for eternity!
I am truly sorry for your loss, but after finding your blog through the NYT I hope your family becomes a cautionary tale of what can happen when you reject medical advice in the misguided attempt to follow God's wishes.
ReplyDeleteMan did not create reproductive technologies on their own. That's giving man entirely too much credit. Of course God guided man in making these technologies. God created the bodies for these spirits just like he created all children. They are HIS children. All children are His. The Amanda and Thomas were blessed with some of His most precious spirits to provide bodies for them and care for some of them for just a very short time on this Earth.
ReplyDeleteThere can be no joy and happiness without pain and suffering. Thomas and Amanda have been through so much and they have dealt with it with so much grace and strength. They were trusted with some of Gods most precious spirits who only needed to come to this Earth for a short time to gain a body and He needed them with Him again now. They did not need to be subjected to the trials that this Earth brings. They were able to gain the bodies that they needed to progress.
Your faith and strength through these difficult times have really touched my heart. What a beautiful family reunion there will be in the eternities!
ReplyDeleteMy heart is breaking for you. I can't even fathom all that you have been through. I was so hoping that Ashlyn would pull through. I am just so sad.
ReplyDeleteGod Bless you and your family.
I am so sorry for your loss. Your strenght and dependence on God is encouraging and amazing!
ReplyDeleteNo- God was NOT with them. If it was God's will for her to have six babies, deliver early enough to be considered a miscarriage (they were born so early the hospital would not have intervened if they parents hadn't insisted) and have 4 of them die so far- it would have happened without fertility treatments.
ReplyDeleteWhile I personally chose adoption instead of fertility treatments, I understand that some people feel the need to have kids that look like them. But when you decide that you trust a doctor enough to put your medical care in their hands, then you have to trust them ALL THE WAY THROUGH. It's not just "embryo removal is abortion." Choosing to keep all 6 embryos put ALL of them at risk. This was not a question of convenience. It was a matter of life or death for her children. She is reeping what she sowed. She was told that this would likely happen- and she was given an alternative. She chose to be a ridiculous martyr, suddenly choosing God over doctors and science, and this is what she gets for it.
I hope others see the truth behind this story. She is NOT a hero. This was selfish child abuse, plain and simple.
Amanda and Thomas---i am so proud of you.
ReplyDeleteyou sought no publicity but are kind enough to share with your friends...
Unkind and unwanted opionions will always be around --- i know that you are in a higher frame of mind than some of the silly, rude and mean things that have been posted.
You two keep our faith! Like i said earlier -- some folks just don't get it! they have no relationship with our Father in Heaven, and consequently THEY JUST DON'T GET IT! poor sad people.... love, Erma
The two of you are amazing!! Your entire family is in my thoughts and prayers.
ReplyDeleteI am a mom of a 25 weeker. I am so sorry that people have found your blog and have decided to leave the comments that so many of us have had to endure.
ReplyDeleteAs a mom and a mom of the LDS faith we are praying for your family at this time.
Prematuritywithlove.blogspot.com
Erma-
ReplyDeleteActually, I have a very long and strong relationship with Heavenly Father. Are you a prophet now? Did God instantly give you the ability to judge the hearts and lives of others?
But just because I believe in HF doesn't mean that I have to think that what these people did was right. It was not right. It was abusive and selfish. Rolling the dice when she wasn't the one that was going to be born retarded or deformed or with no quality of life, all in the name of "Heavenly Father" is no admirable. She trusted the doctors, believing they were the tools HF had given her, to get her pregnant. But when a HUGE, life threatening issue came up suddenly she knew better then the ones with medical degrees- and they were no longer part of God's will for her. Is it an easy decision by any means?! No, absolutely not. But it's one she was well aware she might need to make.
As for all the people saying this is God's will- really? It's God's will for people to mess with science and play God and make bad decisions and for children to suffer for it? Really?
Sadly- they could have easily adopted a dozen children (or more!) who need homes just for what they'll pay in medical bills alone.
It truly saddens me to hear that you lost another sweet baby. I can't even imagine what you are going through. Atleast you have the gospel of Jesus Christ and know that you will see ALL your children again!! Your posts are such testimony builders!
ReplyDeleteYou chose to play god and were unwilling to make the difficult choice. I hope this serves as a lesson to others; Religion has no place in Medicine. If you had embraced the medical science you would most likely have healthy babies. If you had embraced your Heavenly Father, you'd have come to the conclusion that you weren't meant to bear children. There are plenty of kids who need loving parents just waiting to be adopted. Instead this is the result of your choices. I'm a non-believer, but my thoughts are with you in your time of loss. I hope however, that you can see your own hipocrasy and take this time to reflect within yourselves your poor decisions.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry to hear about the loss of beautiful Ashlyn. I am, however, grateful that you know she is in a much better place with Jesus. She is no longer suffering any more. I pray every day for you and your little girls. May GOD bless you and your family. This is a great testimony you have.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry. I opened your blog and said out loud "she died" and my husband came to my side, hugged me and said "I am sorry." I read every time you post and have really, really been praying for you and Thomas and of course, Ashlyn. I am so sorry she is gone, but she is free and I know you and your husband will do everything to be with her and her siblings again. I too, am so grateful for the blessings of the temple. I wish I could give you a big hug. You are an example of strength. I have much love for you.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry about sweet little Ashlyn. I hope and pray the other two girls, Rachel and Haley continue to do well and come home with You very soon.
ReplyDeleteThere is no earthly sorry that heaven can't heal. You are such wonderful examples of faith & perseverance. God bless you all. I know He is with you, your children & especially little Ashlyn. How wonderful to know who welcomes her home. Much Love, The Halls (Weston, Emily, Warren & Ben) KW1
ReplyDeleteAmanda and Thomas,
ReplyDeleteI have been following your blog since your babies were born and I am so sorry to read of the passing of your daughter Ashlyn. I'm sure she could feel the love you had for her. I'm also sorry to read some of the negative comments some have chosen to share, this was not the time or place to have done this. May you feel some comfort from those that support you and know that many are praying for you at this time.
I'm so sorry for the recent loss of your beautiful daughter and for the losses of your other babies. I will pray for your family.
ReplyDeleteAs for the NYT article, the comments after it show just how stupid and ignorant most people are in regard to infertility. Shame on those who posted negative comments on the site of grieving parents. Have some decency! They did what they thought was best for their family.
I'm very sorry for your loss. You're in my thoughts and prayers. Thank you for your testimony and example.
ReplyDeleteOmaha, NE
Amanda and Thomas,
ReplyDeleteI have been reading your posts for several months now and would like to send my sorrow at your loss. I know sending little Ashlyn to heaven was hard, but you will have the chance to be together with all your babies again.
I am praying for you and for the remaining two girls that they will soon be strong enough to come home and fill your house with cries and joy and chaos.
Thank you for sharing your testimony in every post. Please ignore those people who feel that they need to tear people down in order to make a point. Your love for your family is awesome.
Everyone needs to act there own age. Not there shoe size. This is crazy for everyone to be acting like this. If you don't want to hear how there kids are doing DON'T READ IT..
ReplyDeleteI am very, very sorry for your loss. I how you guys rest in the strength on that you will see them again , and you will we all will see everyone that we love again.. Again i am deeply sorry.. :)
Amanda and Thomas, WE LOVE Ya'll!!!!!!!!!!! Is there a way that you can block those insensitive people that left all those RUDE and unnecessary comments? Please don't take them to heart. They seem to not understand your situation nor what freedom of choice is and getting personal answers to prayers. You have been through so many up and downs already and are enduring so well. Ya'll are so strong because of it. Remember only the Lord knows our hearts. He loves ya'll so much as do your children. Ya'll are in our prayers as always.
ReplyDeleteThe above comment made me laugh really hard. :) Thanks, lekanw, for providing all of us with some fine comic relief during this difficult time.
ReplyDeleteThe essence of true faith is to persist in what you personally know to be true in your heart and in your mind in spite of the various opinions and criticisms of others. In this way, both of you have emulated and honored the Savior. "He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief; and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised and we esteemed him not. Surely he has borne and carried our sorrows; yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted." (Isaiah 53.3-4) Thank you so much for your example to me and to the thousands who are watching you during this difficult time.
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ReplyDeleteamanda and thomas i am so very very heartbroken for you. you are such wonderful parents. your faith in God leaves me in awe. i admire and respect you so much.
ReplyDeletedearest ashlyn may you find peace and love in the arms of Our Father in Heaven. amanda and thomas may Gods hand reach out and carry you over these very difficult and what must sometimes be very dark days. you are exceptional people who have faced exceptional circumstances and have and continue to rise above and beyond the challenges you have faced. please God i pray that you lay your hands on Rachel and Haley and carry them through these next few weeks safely so that they may come home as soon as can be to their so loving and deserving parents.
lots of love, kindness and prayer from our little family to your wonderful family....
Thomas and Amanda,
ReplyDeleteI am so very sorry to hear of Ashlyn's passing. I can only imagine how tough that decision had to be for y'all. I will continue to keep you in my prayers, as well as, your adorable little girls.
I'm just an email away if you need anything or just want to vent.
-Tami G.
I am so saddened by your loss. Please know that prayers are coming you way! I can't imagine how hard this for you to go through. However, only you as parents can do something like this. Please call me if you need anything! We are always here for you.
ReplyDeleteThomas and Amanda,
ReplyDeleteSo sorry to read today that little Ashlyn has went home to our Heavenly Father. I have been in Washington visiting Keith's sister who is battling brain cancer. I can only tell you both that Keith and I love you and pray for you each. I know there is great comfort in our Heavenly Father's plan and know that through the power of the comforter that we can receive that understanding of the atonement. Your both great and I wish that things were different, although I know that she is fine now and relieved from all that she suffered as she endured to the end. Much love and blessing to each of you.
Bonnie
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ReplyDeleteMy heart aches for your loss. You are in my prayers.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry for the loss of your precious daughter. You are very much in my prayers.
ReplyDeleteYou need to consider adoption. Instead of bringing 6 children into the world who were doomed to suffer through life (100%), you could have ENDED the suffering of one, two, or even six children who don't have families. Really Selfish of you, don't you think?
ReplyDeleteI don't even know where to start! O8SERVER, Dale Landry, Heather, Pearl, Mag, Abenteuer, justme, Corey, ss11, Jesse-THIS IS NOT THE PLACE FOR YOUR COLLECTIVE STUPIDITY! This is a family in mourning, no one needs to hear you criticize. If all you have to say are hateful things, find somewhere else to do so. Oh, and I love how you all have sat and "lurked" until this happened! Where were your comments on all the posts about how great the babies were doing? Didn't have the guts to say anything then did ya? No, instead you wait to kick them while they are down. That's low. And all this "God's will" crap you're trying to spout is exactly that, crap. None of you have ever had some kind of medical intervention?! Never gone to the Dr. because you were sick? Never had surgery? Never fought a disease? Um, yeah, that's "interfering with God's will" by your standards. Next time you come down with something like, oh I don't know, cancer, why don't you just say and prayer and trust that God will heal all??
ReplyDeleteSounds a bit radical and stupid huh? Well, that's because it is! I was born to my parents as a full term baby, but within a week of birth I spiked a fever and rash that no one could explain. I spent a week in the NICU and without this medical intervention, I wouldn't be here today. Did I not have a right to this treatment? Was it God's will that I die? If so, tell that to my parents, siblings, husband, and perfectly healthy daughter. I'm sure they could use a laugh.
We've all had a need for medical intervention of some kind in our lives. God has given us technology for a reason! This couple never set out to conceive 6 children at once. Even the Dr. said that he only saw 2 possible eggs for that cycle! And selective reduction is ALWAYS recommended to women who are pregnant with high order multiples! So you can't say that they should have just trusted the Dr.'s and made the decision to reduce. THEY ARE NOT ALWAYS RIGHT!
As far as the adoption argument, that's a completely personal decision. It's certainly not something you can just fling in someone's face and say "give up on your desire to bear children and do this!" Doesn't work that way!
So guys, basically, go take a leap and keep your negativity to yourselves. This is a place for love and compassion, two things you're all obviously lacking.
I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet Ashlyn. My thoughts, tears, and prayers are with you.
ReplyDeleteAnd I am so sorry for the ugliness of others. I am stunned, floored, and shocked. I had to stop reading comments because they were too upsetting to me. I can not imagine how it makes you feel during such a hard and trying time. May the Holy Ghost comfort you and your family during this trying time.
Lots of love,
The Washburn Family
You deserve what you got.
ReplyDeleteNo baby EVER deserves to suffer, but you sure do. How can you be so hypocritical? You decide to put your faith and trust into to DOCTORS when your GOD won't let you get pregnant, but when those same doctors warn you that you could be putting ALL of your children in danger you suddenly trust God again? It's obvious he didn't want you to have kids because you'd be terrible parents.
Not choosing to reduce was akin to bashing in your own babies heads with a brick. You alone caused their suffering and deaths. How does that reality feel?
"God has given us this technology for a reason."
ReplyDeleteSeriously? You people need your heads examined.
Your beliefs about "God" are the main problem here.
Kaitlyn,
ReplyDeleteFirst, I wasn't around before this post. I wasn't "lurking" and waiting for bad news. This blog was posted on a "can you believe the NERVE of some idiots" blog post.
Second, The only reason any of us bring up "God's will" is because of the hypocrisy of it all. I have no problem with medical intervention, until you starting using God as a reason to turn your backs on the very doctors that they were trusting in earlier. Either the doctors were God's will for them OR THEY WEREN'T. YOU CAN'T HAVE IT BOTH WAYS. You just can't. You can't trust them to get you pregnant and then suddenly say "well, they don't know everything..."
It was NOT God's will for this idiot couple to have 4 dead babies. GOD did not will this particular mistake. If you want to take the risks that accompany the medical treatment, you have to be willing to accept the treatment for those risks. If one of those eggs had landed in a fallopian tube, and it was obvious that allowing gestation to continue would kill her, what would they have done? Trusted God? I doubt it. They would have terminated. But since it wasn't HER life on the line, they willingly put their children in danger. And now they have 4 dead, buried babies. And I won't sugar coat that. They are being lifted up as heroes when they are MORONS and should be used as PROOF that legislation needs be tighter in situations like this. It is not ethical for doctors to allow women to carry like this. Octo mom and Kate Gosselin have painted a picture that make it look like a one way ticket to a reality show and free diapers for life- when it usually leads to D-E-A-D B-A-B-I-E-S.
I take medication for epilepsy. I believe those meds are crucial for me, but they carry high risks. I weighed those risks (and reevaluate on a regular basis) because they can lead to kidney or liver failure. If eventually the meds kill my liver, that doesn't make it "God's will" for me. It's an unfortunate risk that I'm will to take- but I won't blame it on HF.
So, no. I'm not just lurking waiting for something bad to happen. This particular site came to my attention through my medical ethics class. And unanimously, even among Christians and other religious folks in the room, it was the WRONG decision.